When it comes to my hair, I have always done what I want, when I want. Maybe it is because I never had a crazy (about hair) boyfriend or because my parents were fairly open minded about hair, or maybe because everyone always complimented my hair. I always felt like my hair was an extension of myself.
So it shocks me to hear women say they are afraid to do something because of their significant other. Like cutting two inches off the length or going from blonde to light brown. And I think, what man would even notice?
I have also had a lot of women in love with their cut or color after a change but with fear in their eyes about going home and showing their husband/boyfriend. They usually come back the next time beaming and delighted that the men in their life actually like what I have done. I see it again and again.
I think in many relationships, men don’t realize the weight of their comments. And in many relationships, women blow what men say completely out of proportion. First off, when I see women and men together and I am talking to the woman about her hair, a lot of times she will say he has said X about her hair and he will deny it or say he didn’t mean it “like that,” etc.
Of course, these are all generalizations so take it with a grain of salt.
Most men don’t really care what their lady looks like as long as she looks good. If he has said he doesn’t like redheads, that doesn’t mean that he will hate an auburn lowlight in his lady’s hair. And even if they don’t care for that particular aspect, they probably won’t care that much and they probably would never notice if it wasn’t pointed out to them.
Some men do have strong preferences. Sometimes a fictional character or girl/woman next door could have made a huge impact on them as kids/adolescents. A lot of times these don’t necessarily translate to what they want in a woman. Maybe Catwoman is the sexiest character alive for a man, it doesn’t mean he wants his girlfriend to wear a spandex jumpsuit everywhere. A lot of times he might even want the opposite in real life. Some things are meant to live in fantasy.
My husband likes naturally long, wavy hair. He has admitted this after a lot of prodding. That said, he doesn’t care that much and he thinks short hair is flattering for me. What’s more, he LOVES how little time it takes for me to do my hair and he loves how much I love it short. He also loves that he can run his hands through it without messing it up. Ultimately, I think it is hard for a man to truly hate a hairstyle, within reason, if it makes his wife/girlfriend happy.
Men like confidence. They like femininity but that doesn’t necessarily mean long, flowing hair anymore. They just want their wife/girlfriend as they are. They want to see her, understand her. The goal is not to match up to a man’s image of female perfection, but to be so awesome that he loves her even more than Lara Croft, Catwoman, Jessica Rabbit, whoever. Because they aren’t real and they can’t hold a conversation.
Rachel Lynn Carr 